mrd

The boys at mrd might not be experts in building flat packs

but

They ARE experts in investment strategies and building property portfolios!!!

If you’re good at the flat packs but a little unsure of the investing strategy, allow the mrd boys the opportunity to show you something they are good at!

• YES PLEASE I want to speak with mrd about building a property portfolio today  >>>here

Confucius say: “man who run behind car get exhausted”…”man who run in front of car get tired”

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own.

He wanders around, seeing the sights and stops at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads and have a pint.

After he sets out again, he finds himself in a very high-class neighbourhood – big, stately residences, no pubs, no shops, no restaurants and, worst of all, no public toilets.

Desperate, after all those pints, he consults a London bobby, who says: “Just follow me.”

He leads him to a back delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.

“In there,” points the bobby. ”Whiz away sir, anywhere you want.”

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculpted hedges and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the cop’s blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby: “That was really decent of you, is that what you call ‘English hospitality’?” Read more…

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic… with an insomniac?

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I would like to share an experience with you all, about “Drinking And Driving”.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and some rather nice shiraz.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I’ve never done before – I took a bus home.

I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise because…

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For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, here’s proof they have much in common with cats:

1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name
2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot
3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents
4. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing
5. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did Read more…

An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he’s finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’s had in years.

But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball.

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Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question It is as it reads. No one I know has got it right.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a chap whom she did not know. She thought this chap was amazing. She believed him to be her dream bloke so much, that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?

[Give this some thought before you answer]

Answer:

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A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, ”Hang on! You’re a duck.”

“I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.

“And you can talk!” Exclaims the barman.

“I see your ears are working, too,” Says the duck.

“Now if you don’t mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?”

“Certainly, sorry about that,” says the barman as he pulls the duck’s pint.

“It’s just we don’t get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?”

“I’m working on the building site across the road,” explains the duck. “I’m a plasterer.”

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him:

“You’re with the circus, aren’t you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!”

“Sounds marvellous,” says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. “Get him to give me a call.”

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,

“Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.”

“I’m always looking for the next job,” says the duck. “Where is it?”

“At the circus,” says the barman.

“The circus?”

Repeats the duck.

“That’s right,” replies the barman.

“The circus?” the duck asks again.

“With the big tent?”

“Yeah,” the barman replies.

“With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?” says the duck.

“Of course,” the barman replies.

“And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?” persists the duck.

“That’s right!” says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. .

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My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.

“Did you smell that food?” she asked. “Incredible!”

Being the nice guy I am, I thought, “What the heck, I’ll treat her!”

Read more…